Showing up
“When something resonates, it’s like a bell. Let it reverberate. Don’t try to grasp it. It’ll stop ringing.” These are the thoughts that I was thinking during a dharma talk at the local Zen center. Yes, I know. There are seemingly endless opportunities for me to practice not thinking. Let’s just say I miss the boat on this one, but found something worthwhile while I was wandering the shoreline. Which I’m going to circle back to in a moment.
But first, this body of work that I’ve been sharing has come to a new stage. You might recall that it started with several sheets of art paper taped together - all test prints from some of my photographs - that I began to work into with a variety of media. Today, I reached the point where it was time to pull the tape off and begin working into individual pieces. With a bit of trepidation, I do it. Sitting with the individual pieces spread out in front of me, I suddenly reach over and pull out the pieces I was working on at the beginning of the summer. They’ve been waiting for me while I was doing other work, and apparently have been waiting for this moment. I realize that that the cumulative 19 pieces belong together. I could not have planned this. It feels like magic. I am grinning and feeling a bit giddy. Cue the ringing of the bell.
This is the point in the process where I want to hold on tight. I’m suddenly grasping and sort of frozen, for fear of losing something as I continue the work. What if I mess them up? What if the feeling of magic goes away before or while I’m working on them? What if I’m just imagining the way the work speaks, and even glows a bit?
This is also the point in the process where I get to practice letting go. All of my fears are going to manifest & it’s not actually a problem: making mixed media work is messy, feelings flit & flicker, and creation doesn’t happen without imagination. Making the work means showing up for it, all of it. That’s the real magic. As my uncle Joel shared recently, “It’s never about making art. It’s always about showing up for the process.”
